The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Every once in a while, I’ll highlight a year, a player group, or something awesome about these old team photos and post it up.

In case you can’t tell from the earlier posts in this series, I’m a big fan of ridiculous facial hair. Well, I decided to go through every team photo on record and find the best/worst facial hair (it’s a very fine line). I chose one photo per decade, starting with the 1880s and going through the 1980s (the more recent photos don’t blow up to a large resolution, and facial hair is pretty boring these days anyway), although there are no photos between the 1910s and the 1960s, presumably because there was a facial hair ban during those decades. After I showcase the best facial hair of each decade, I’ll leave up to you to decide who has the best facial hair in Michigan history. Without further ado, let’s start the show:

1880-1889: Unknown, 1885

Unfortunately, the 1885 team photo does not have player/coach names to go with the picture, so for now this man is completely unidentifiable. However, it is impossible to give the 1880s title to anybody else, as this unnamed hero manages to combine a handlebar mustache with the Rollie Fingers wax job. Bonus points, of course, must be given for the bowtie, top hat, and cane.

1890-1899: Charles T. Griffin, 1892

This one takes the prize for sheer bushiness. I mean, it looks like two squirrels are trying to escape from his nostrils. The very noticeable gap in the middle only serves to accentuate just how ridiculous this mustache is. I’m not sure if Charles T. Griffin had much luck with the ladies while sporting enough lip hair to sweep Crisler Arena, but he certainly deserves the respect of every man who has ever tried to grow a mustache.

1900-1909: Graduate director Charles Baird, 1904

Apparently “Charles” is a great name to have if you wish to grow a magnificent mustache. Baird’s ’stache may not be flashy, but it simply gets the job done. Again, extra points must be given for sporting the bowtie.

1910-1958: The Dark Ages — not a single mustache or beard to be found.

1959: Bennie McRae

It may not be much, but after nearly a half-century of no facial hair, Bennie McRae brings the ’stache back to Michigan football. Remember: you can’t spell “Michigan Wolverines football” without “facial hair”. Even if McRae’s mustache was wispy, pencil-thin, and generally unexciting, he is worthy of a spot on this list for his historical impact. A tip of the cap to you, Mr. McRae.

1960-1969: Tom Goss, 1968

Yes, that is the Tom Goss, Michigan athletic director from 1997-2000. The 1960s, admittedly, didn’t bring much in the way of facial hair, so Goss will have to do as his decade’s representative. He does earn credit for keeping his mustache long after his playing career.

Bonus: Jim Betts, 1969

It really doesn’t look like much, but Jim Betts’ mustache is the centerpiece of one of my favorite Michigan football stories ever. I’m quoting from pages 32-33 of Bo’s Lasting Lessons, written by Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon, a book you really should have if you don’t already:

I made only one exception for the black players. The day after my first team meeting, when I told everyone they’d better shave, Jim Betts came into my office to talk to me. “Coach, you’ve got to understand, for the black players, the mustache represents part of our heritage.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“No, Coach, I’m sincere.”

We went back and forth a few times, but Jimmy wasn’t budging — and what the hell did I know? I was from Barberton, Ohio.

The next day, I met with the team again. “It has come to my attention that the black players on this team feel they cannot with a good conscience shave their mustaches, because they feel it is part of their heritage.”

I let that sink in.

“So, I am allowing them to keep their mustaches. But as for you white players — you have no heritage! So shave ‘em off!”

That broke the tension in the room.

Now, get this. For years I kept asking Betts, “Honestly, were you pulling my leg?”

Finally, twenty years later, he said, “Coach, I have to confess: I’d just grown that mustache, I was proud of it, and I had to think of some reason you’d let me keep it.”

“You dog!”

For being the ’stache behind the story, Jim Betts gets an honorable mention as best facial hair of the 1960s.

1970-1979: Tim Davis, 1975

Now this is a mustache. You have to love any ’stache that gets wider the farther it gets from the nose, and Davis’ almost meets back again at the chin. I don’t want to influence any votes, but this may be my personal favorite.

1980-1989: Dave Nicolau, 1980

Sometimes it isn’t the ’stache itself, but how you carry it. Dave Nicolau holds his mustache high, letting the world know he is proud of the facial hair that makes him look like he should be in a low-budget adult film. More power to you, Dave.

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The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Anyways, I’ve decided to click to a random year and find the most awesome/silly/ridiculous-looking player for that year, and then dig up what I can find on said player’s career at Michigan.

Today, we move away from the players for a minute, and check out the earliest possible photograph of Michigan’s big-name coaches. First up, the Bo Schembechler line, featuring Bo himself, Gary Moeller, and Lloyd Carr:

The picture of Lloyd is from 1980, his first year as an assistant at Michigan, while both Bo and Mo are from 1969, the first season of the Bo Regime at Michigan.

Now time for some old school. Check out Mr. Winged Helmet himself, Fritz Crisler:

Fritz looks sharp, and he knows it.

We really need to bring back the days when coaches wore suits. Maybe Charlie Weis would complain, but he’s going to be fired in a year or two anyway. Need some more proof that suits are the way to go? Check out the greatest coach in school history, Fielding Yost, in the team photo from his first year at the helm of the Wolverines, 1901:

Hot damn.

Now that, my friends, is a leader of men. No wonder that 1901 team outscored their opponents 550-0 en route to Michigan’s first national title; the other teams were clearly too distracted by the shiny pin on Yost’s suit. The numbers back it up: When Michigan coaches wear suits — 10 national titles. Without — Just one. I know, I just blew your mind. If we can get RichRod into an adidas-approved double-breasted pinstripe, I’m sure Michigan will have no problem plowing their way through the competition and silencing all the doubters. Somebody get on this immediately.

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The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Anyways, I’ve decided to click to a random year and find the most awesome/silly/ridiculous-looking player for that year, and then dig up what I can find on said player’s career at Michigan.

Today’s edition of Fun With Team Photos takes a look at Michigan’s first ever varsity football team, fielded in 1879. This one is worthy enough to have the whole team photo printed:

Splendid. Much like the 1889 squad, there are several tremendous mustaches to be found, with the finest lip-sweater arguably belonging to the captain of the team, one David N. DeTarr (although a very solid argument could be made for Albert S. Pettit, standing on the far right in the top row, though his lack of a hat is rather disappointing):

DeTarr's magnificent mouth brow is clearly the source for his tremendous skill on the field.

DeTarr captained the team when football was rather unrecognizable. Check out this archived news story from the first ever Michigan football game, a 1-0 victory over Racine, described as “what we may call the finest game of Rugby football ever played this side of the Alleghenies.” There were still rugby-style scrums, the game consisted of two “innings” lasting 45 minutes, and touchdowns needed to be converted with a kick (again, we’re not far from rugby here). Also, they played with this, which immediately explains the lack of a forward pass:

I believe Dr. James Naismith wants his ball back, fellas.

DeTarr holds the honor of being the first Michigan player to ever score a point, described exceptionally in The Chronicle’s recap:

Soon DeTar put it down in a scrummage and it was kicked by the Racine team and caught by Chase, closed behind DeTar. Only two minutes more and the second inning would be bee over. Yet the gods gave the University time to make a goal, which they did in most splendid style. A place kick by Capt. DeTar. Here the game closed with a score of one touchdown of the University team.

If you can’t tell by now, that entire article is well worth reading. One U-M footballer who played, but is not mentioned in the recap, is Edmund Barmore, one of the team’s halfbacks. Any ideas why?

Between the cross-eyes and the wispy 'stache, Barmore falls short.

That’s just an unfortunate combination of roving eyes and an inadequate soup saver. However, it appears Barmore made great strides in the growth of his third brow by 1880, when he played quarterback (not the modern sort of quarterback, with the passing and whatnot) in Michigan’s 13-6 victory over Toronto, avenging a 0-0 tie in the previous year:

Much better, although I miss the striped caps.

No recap is available (at least that I can find) for the 1880 Toronto game, so it’s hard to tell exactly how much the improved lip fur helped Barmore’s performance. However, I would be remiss to not include this interview with the American Mustache Institute’s Dr. Aaron Perlut, who is the greatest thing to ever happen to ESPN’s First Take (as well as the dot-com’s chat):

I salute you, Mr. Perlut. America would not be the same without you, nor your hilarious terms for mustache. That’s all for today’s Fun With Team Photos. As always, hit the tag for the rest of the series, which will certainly continue until the offseason stops being horrendously boring.

The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Anyways, I’ve decided to click to a random year and find the most awesome/silly/ridiculous-looking player for that year, and then dig up what I can find on said player’s career at Michigan.

As I was looking at the 1997 team photo for the previous post, I noticed a young Tom Brady looking quite silly in the middle of the photo:

Better hide this one from Gisele.

I realize Brady wasn’t a freshman in 1997, but the shock of seeing him from 14 years ago made me want to dig through the archives and check out the freshman photos of past Michigan greats.

Wow, they grow up so fast. Not included in the gallery because of the tiny picture size was this photo of Charles Woodson, circa 1995:

He spots a Heisman in the distance.

That’s all until the next installment. Hit the tag for the rest of the Fun With Team Photos series, if you’re like me and have nothing better to do with your summer.

The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Anyways, I’ve decided to click to a random year and find the most awesome/silly/ridiculous-looking player for that year, and then dig up what I can find on said player’s career at Michigan.

Today’s installment of Fun With Team Photos owes a large debt of gratitude to Greg over at MVictors, who shot me a twitter message referring me to this old post on his site. Scroll to the bottom of the post, and you’ll be treated to today’s subjects from the 1997 national title team, G Todd Mossa and then-DE Bill Seymour:

1997: Taste the Excitement!

I really can’t decide which face is better: Mossa’s trying-to-stifle-a-yawn double-chin special, or Seymour’s half-asleep (possibly fully-asleep?) super-jowls. I’m giving them both the 1997 title, with the reward of a year’s supply of Five Hour Energy, redeemable if I ever have expendable cash and Mossa or Seymour actually read this (read: not redeemable whatsoever).

It comes as little surprise, considering how excited both appeared for the upcoming season, that Mossa and Seymour redshirted in 1997. Common freshman mistake: fall asleep in the team photo, get forced to wait a year to see the field. Mossa stuck around until 2000, playing sparingly as a backup guard after making his career debut in the 1998 Penn State game. Google reveals that he was somewhat of a lacrosse legend in high school, leading Darien (Conn.) High School to a state championship in 1997 while earning All-American and All-State honors, as well as being named MVP in the state title game. Seymour moved to tight end before his redshirt freshman season, and ended up starting 23 career games at the position between 1999 and 2001, finishing his career with 36 catches for 387 yards and two touchdowns.

Upon further investigation of the photo, it appears that Mossa and Seymour had a soporific affect on at least one other player nearby:

Rudy Smith tries to sneak in a nap, hoping Mossa's egregious yawn will provide cover.

Freshman wideout Rudy Smith also redshirted in 1997, upholding my theory that Lloyd Carr looked over the team photo before deciding who would see the field each year. Smith had one career catch for 15 yards, coming in the 1998 game against Hawaii. Also, his real name is Rufus Herman Smith, Jr., which is just fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that I’m going to end this post with his name. Rufus Herman Smith, Jr. Peace. Hit the tag for the rest of the team photo posts.

The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Anyways, I’ve decided to click to a random year and find the most awesome/silly/ridiculous-looking player for that year, and then dig up what I can find on said player’s career at Michigan. In the second installment, I check out the 1889 squad.

Upon first look at the 1889 team photo, the man smack dab in the middle, Ben Boutwell, seemingly has no competition when it comes to, um, interesting looks:

Now starting at center ... Daniel Boone!

You have to respect a man who allows his mustache to prominently grow over a beard as massive as Boutwell’s, especially when said beard has more hair in it than the top of Boutwell’s head. However, there are two problems with choosing Boutwell. First, there’s nothing on the internet about him, which would make this a short and relatively uninteresting post. Second, James Duffy exists, and is in the same photo:

Did Waldo grow a mustache? And oil it?

I imagine being dropped into the year 1889 and being surrounded by people who look just like James Duffy: somewhat slight of stature, curled mustache, silly-looking cap, and a striped sweater. Factor in that he, for some reason, is not looking anywhere near the camera, and this is just a perfect picture. Now let’s take a look at James Duffy, the player. From irishlegends.com:

The stars on the Michigan team were the Duffy brothers, James E. and John L. Both had great speed and were exceptional kickers; in fact, in 1891 James would tie the American football record by booting a 55-yard field goal.

…

A foot race, 100 yards in length, preceded the [1888] game and was open to members of both teams. James Duffy of Michigan and Notre Dame’s Harry Jewett, the world-class-sprinter-to-be, took the challenge. So did Notre Dame’s Joe Hepburn and an unidentified South Bend runner. Jewett stumbled at the start and, even with his great speed, was not able to catch the fleet Duffy.

…

Three minutes and 28 seconds into the game, James Duffy scored a touchdown. His older brother, John, missed the conversion, so it was 4-0, Michigan.

…

Only Michigan had to concern itself with such rules as the first half continued. William Ball, Duffie, and James Duffy scored additional touchdowns (John Duffy converting only two of them) to give the Wolverines a 20-0 lead. You’d expect if the Notre Dame boys weren’t tired out by halftime they sure must have been Duffied out.

That man pictured above, James E. Duffy, was a tremendous football player. This makes me thing that I could have been a football player at the turn of the century, except for the fact that players regularly left the field with broken limbs and gouged eyes. However, I would have to work on my mustache before I would ever be considered for the team. Also, I’d love to figure out how he managed to be on the varsity team for not five, not six, but seven years! Seriously, check the roster database; James E. Duffy is listed at halfback from 1895-1891. Apparently the NCAA wasn’t too tough on the whole eligibility deal.

That’s all for this edition … hit the “Fun With Team Photos” tag to check out the other posts (or at this point, post) in this inane, totally useless, but mildly interesting category.

The tremendous boredom of the summer months has reached its apex, and I am left to come up with content when there is little to nothing going on in the Michigan sports scene. Luckily, U-M has an amazing database of historical content. The Bentley Historical Library is an incredible resource on Wolverine history, and also a bona-fide time-waster. I love looking through the old team photos … it’s basically like checking out your parents’ high school yearbooks, except with more famous people and without the stigma of looking through your parents’ high school yearbooks. Anyways, I’ve decided to click to a random year and find the most awesome/silly/ridiculous-looking player for that year, and then dig up what I can find on said player’s career at Michigan. First up: 1975, a high point for ridiculous hair-do’s. This was a tough one, but the player who wins out has to be Pat Watts:

Diggin' the specs, dude.

I mean, could this more perfectly encapsulate everything awesome about the 1970s? Giant white-man ‘fro, massive sideburns, and giant glasses. This is a football player, people. Well, I think he’s a football player. Why do I say that? Because this man, credited as Pat Watts in the photo, doesn’t show up in the Bentley roster database, nor does he show up on the complete 1975 roster, which includes non-lettermen and freshmen. He is not on the roster or in the team photo for any other season. A Google search revealed nothing, except that another Pat Watts apparently lettered in football at Michigan Tech in 1973. Could this be the same mysterious Pat Watts? I have no idea. So, I decided to look a little deeper into the 1975 team photo. Thank goodness I did:

Someone has to be That Guy. In 1975, That Guy was Jim Bolden.

Seemingly caught mid-sneeze, with an afro that stretches for the heavens and a mustache that is begging to be put out of its misery, defensive back Jim Bolden clearly stands above the rest of the ‘75 squad when it comes to sheer awesomeness in the team picture category. Also, Bolden actually made it onto the team roster, so I can write about something beyond the above photograph. The junior out of Akron, Ohio started 11 games in ‘75 at weakside halfback (which I’m pretty sure is cornerback … also of note: Don Dufek started all 12 games at “wolfman” that season), tallying 32 tackles, five pass breakups, and an interception. For his career, Bolden had 77 stops, eight PBUs, and two interceptions. Also, his face in the 1976 team photo is nearly as good as the previous year’s editon:

Jim Bolden finds this photograph business to be rather uninspiring.

Another Google search reveals that Jim has a son, Mike, who is a redshirt sophomore cornerback for Northwestern. Unfortunately, young Mike’s photo isn’t nearly as hilarious as his father’s. I think Jim needs to give his son a little talking-to.

Next time, I pick another random year and make some more snarky comments. Yes, there is also real content coming, I promise. This, however, is a hell of a lot more fun. Stay bad, dudes.