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By Ace Anbender
 Whiny, traitorious, punk-ass tub of lard. This used to be my favorite week of the year.
The past two years, of course, have been filled more with dread and despair than excitement for the best rivalry in college sports. I try to temper my expectations, and my trash talk, so not to get crushed by another loss to Ohio State. They still crush me.
So this year, I’m throwing caution to the wind. My blood boils every time I see Scarlet and Gray, and a whole week of suppressing my hate is only going to serve to make me even more irritable. This is very likely my last Ohio State game as a student, and I can’t hold back any longer. Instead, it’s time for an airing of grievances, Buckeye-style:
- Hey, Michael Wilbon gets away with this, so I’ll try it too: I’ve heard on “very good authority” that Terrelle Pryor got paid to attend Ohio State. He also has a horrendous taste in suits. And the throwing arm of a little girl.
- Yes, Jim Tressel wears a sweater-vest, drinks Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade, watches That’s So Raven, and wears Uggs. I have proof:
 But they're so comfortable!
- Justin Boren appears to have dressed up for Halloween as some frightening cross between Rich Rodriguez and Charlie Weis, just seconds before Weisriguez contracted herpes.
- Maurice Clarett’s prison jumpsuit is completely lint-free, thank you very much.
- Presented without comment:
- 57-42-6
Yes, we may suck, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss out on the rivalry fun this year. Go Blue!
By Ace Anbender
 Kelvin Grady is pushing for a significant role in the fall after joining the squad this summer. Football:
- Former basketball player Kelvin Grady learning quickly at slot receiver — Michigan Daily — I’m clearly not the only one who thinks Grady looks good; Rich Rodriguez was quick to praise his new slot receiver before practice today. Don’t be surprised if Kelvin sees the field a lot this season, despite being only months removed from being exclusively a basketball player.
- Video from Thursday’s practice — The Wolverine — Exclusive video of the quarterbacks, receivers, defensive line, and more, shot at today’s practice.
- Observations: What does Grimace have to do with Michigan football practice? — AnnArbor.com — Despite the incredibly strange headline, Michael Rothstein has some interesting notes on today’s practice, including a breakdown of the field goal competition. Also, apparently our blocking heavy bag bears a strong resemblance to the big purple McDonalds … creature.
- Birk’s Eye View: Thursday practice notes… — AnnArbor.com — This headline thing is getting out of hand, since I cut off “…from University of Michigan football practice.” We know what you’re talking about. Seriously. Anyways, the focus is on Denard Robinson, and specifically his game-changing ability as a quarterback.
- Jarrett Irons: Our Dinner With Rich Rodriguez — Lost Lettermen — The former standout M linebacker chronicles a dinner with Rich Rodriguez and several former players in Chicago during Media Days. Have no fear: Irons has only praise for Rodriguez, his “drawl”, and his “affinity” and “respect” for Michigan. It’s great to see Rodriguez reaching out and making a good impression on former players.
- Interview: Mark Messner recalls battles with Mandarich — MVictors — Greg scores an interview with U-M’s all-time sack leader, touching on his most memorable game (battling against Spartan ‘roid-freak Tony Mandarich), Bo’s drug policy (staunch, and ahead of its time), and more. A great read.
- His playing days over, Jason Forcier will stay in Ann Arbor to mentor brother Tate Forcier — AnnArbor.com — Again, the headline says it all in an AnnArbor.com article. Having Jason around will certainly help Tate’s transition to college football, and should keep him on the right track on and off the field.
- All In For Michigan towels go on sale Sunday — Pick yours up at the MGoBlue Shop, M Den, or other retail outlets for $5 ($6.99 after Sunday). Some of the proceeds go towards the building of a new children’s and women’s hospital, and waving a towel promotes the downfall of the dastardly “key play.” So yeah, buy one.
- Graham, Molk, Schilling Named to Lombardi Award Watch List — MGoBlue — The Lombardi Award goes to the top lineman, offensive or defensive in the country, hence the guys from both sides of the ball. Also, nice.
- Boren saga only adds to Michigan-Ohio State rivalry — USA Today — Starting lineman switches sides in storied rivalry, bad-mouths coaching staff on way out, and this adds to the rivalry? O RLY? (Yes, that was sarcasm … I hope he’s healthy for the game so our d-line can put him on his ass thanks to actually caring about strength and conditioning).
- 74,000 Truck Drivers — Spawn of MZone — Delicious rivalry fodder, courtesy of the Spawn of MZone, relating to the above. Thank you.
- Freshman Craig Roh will be a factor at ‘quick’ end position… — AnnArbor.com — That’s it: I’m done typing “for Michigan football team” or anything else similar from AnnArbor.com articles. Good lord. Anyways, I really like Roh as a prospect and the ‘quick’ position seems like a great fit for him.
- Finally healthy, Brandon Minor could be headed for a breakout season — AnnArbor.com — Wow, Minor is one tough mother——: “Minor underwent two surgeries in the offseason and gutted through 11 games last fall a virtual one-armed man. The pain was so intense he couldn’t carry the ball in his right arm and couldn’t lift weights. “I could barely get 145 (pounds) up,” Minor said.”
- U-M defense tackles change with attention to details — Detroit News — I would fail on the U-M defense, as I initially thought this was an article about the DTs. Also, I’m 5-11 and 150 pounds soaking wet. As for the article, more quotes on Greg Robinson’s focus on tackling, among other things.
- Four-star has top five — Rivals.com — Four-star California athlete Anthony Barr has Michigan among his leaders, along with UCLA, USC, Cal, and Notre Dame. Barr is 6-4, 230, and could play anything from receiver to linebacker to defensive back, although most schools are recruiting him as a running back.
- Stevenson hopes to parlay postseason success — Observer & Eccentric Hometown — Local article previewing the Livonia Stevenson football squad, led by running back Austin White, a 2010 Michigan commit. It appears he’ll be playing on both sides of the ball come fall, and the hopes are that the team will build on the success of last season, when they went 10-3 and made the state semifinals.
Basketball:
- Harris, Sims Named Preseason Wooden Candidates — MGoBlue — Michigan gets some national award love, as Manny Harris and DeShawn Sims are among the 50 players named to the Wooden Award watch list.
- While Michigan’s basketball schedule looks good, there’s one stretch that should be a big concern — AnnArbor.com — Starting Jan. 14, Michigan plays: Indiana, UConn, @Wisconsin, @Purdue, Michigan State. Color me concerned. That stretch could vault Michigan into the top ten in the country or destroy a tournament season.
- Michigan Madness Slated for Oct. 16 at Crisler Arena — MGoBlue — FINALLY, Michigan has a Midnight Madness hoops event. Doors open at 8, and the festivities start at 9, with player intros, a skills competition, and scrimmages all on the docket.
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By Ace Anbender
 Spartan hockey player A.J. Sturges is not pleased that Glenn Winston is back on the MSU football team.
- Hockey player upset Winston reinstated — ESPN.com — The Winston saga has been covered in detail already by other news outlets and blogs, but I will say that this story should have gotten as much local media coverage as the Feagin incident, if not more. At least we kick our criminals off the team. Good for A.J. Sturges that he spoke out against his own school and stood up for what he thought was right.
- Small to return, with limitations — Columbus Dispatch — Ray Small is still (barely) hanging on to a spot on the Ohio State team, but Jim Tressel says Small will “probably not” be in the mix at wide receiver. This leaves an inexperienced position for the Buckeyes with even less experience, assuming that Tressel doesn’t relent as the season progresses.
- Wisconsin suspends safeties Carter, Pleasant — ESPN.com — Shane Carter and Aubrey Pleasant, both backup safeties for the Badgers, are suspended indefinitely for undisclosed reasons. Carter, son of NFL legend Cris, led the Big Ten in interceptions in 2007 but has been plagued by off-field issues. Both players have started in their careers.
- Buckeyes’ Boren to miss several weeks — ESPN.com — Sprained knee. Commence holding tongue.
- PSU’s Wallace likely suspended for 1-2 weeks — ESPN.com — Man, ’tis the season, I guess. Corner A.J. Wallace is projected to start for Penn State, but will probably be suspended for at least the opener against Akron because of academic issues.
- Sources: Big Ten to have 3 Jan. 1 bowls — ESPN.com — Big Ten drops the Alamo Bowl and adds the Gator Bowl, which would pit the No. 4 or No. 5 Big Ten squad against the No. 3 ACC team. This adds another Jan. 1 bowl game for the conference, so the move is fine by me.
- On the record: Penn State, steady as she goes — Dr. Saturday — The Doc projects Penn State to take the Big Ten, and places Michigan seventh, between MSU and Northwestern. It’s hard to argue with most of the choices here, although I think Wisconsin is rated a little high at 5th.
- Precedent — On Wisconsin! — A spirited defense of Bret Bielema from On Wisconsin!, comparing Bielema’s first few seasons to stretches of Barry Alvarez’s Badger coaching career. However, the argument leaves me wondering how Alvarez became such a legend with all the stretches of inconsistent/mediocre seasons.
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By Ace Anbender
 Rich Rodriguez wants more noise out of the Michigan faithful. Does this mean we can do away with the keys? Please? Football:
Basketball:
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"When your team is winning, be ready to be tough, because winning can make you soft. On the other hand, when your team is losing, stick by them. Keep believing."
- Bo Schembechler
“I ask no man to make a sacrifice. On the contrary! We ask
him to do the opposite. To live clean, come clean, think clean.
That he stop doing all the things that destroy him physically,
mentally and morally, and begin doing all the things that make him keener, finer and more competent" - Fielding Yost
“People come up to me and say, ‘I’m sorry.’ I’m not sorry because I received the greatest thing from the University of Michigan anyone can receive: a degree.” - Zia Combs
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